Tess on Her Internship at The Center for Attachment Research (CAR)

Over the past few weeks while working at the Center for Attachment Research (CAR) at The New School (@TheNewSchool) in New York, NY, I ascertained things that I never would have learned being confined to a rural setting. I have been introduced to complex psychological concepts, while simultaneously learning a tremendous amount about myself.

The New School for Social Research (NSSR):  "A Global Hub in NYC.”
Image located at www.newschool.edu/nssr/.

In the lab, clinicians implement an intervention known as GABI (Group Attachment Based Intervention).  “This project concerns family preservation and the prevention of child maltreatment. The families who participate in GABI are often very isolated, and have had multiple adverse childhood experiences and ongoing experiences of poverty” (lab memo regarding ongoing projects). My direct work with high risk families has been both enlightening and painful.

I have always been conscious of poverty, both in and outside America. From a young age I have felt a strong obligation to help those less fortunate than I. I have had the unique opportunity of traveling around the world with my family during our summer vacations. Every country we visit, we allocate time to volunteering in townships, orphanages, or building schools in remote villages. At the end of the trip we always return home and those experiences soon become powerful memories.

There is a big difference between volunteering in Africa, many thousands of miles away from my home, and interacting with affected families on a consistent basis (some of whom live less than thirty blocks away from me). Now, there is not a ten hour flight distancing me from the harsh truth that many Americans struggle to obtain their next meal every day. 

This past week, a new mother came into The New School to take part in the intervention.  When new mothers come in, they are given a series of surveys such as the AAI (Adult Attachment Interview) and ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences). These are designed to help get a well rounded idea of the patient and to gain insight into their lives and struggles. At the end of the session, the mother, 23-years-old with four children, asked the clinician administering the surveys if she had any extra diapers. She acknowledged that her government check was not going to come for three days and she had no money to buy diapers for her children; without them her four children would be wearing dirty diapers for the entire weekend.

The interventions conducted at The New School are strictly focused on mending the parent-child bond. They do amazing work and help countless families. Yet, it is an ongoing struggle for me to hear some of the devastating personal stories and not be able to do anything to improve the quality of life of the people I meet. Unfortunately, the anecdote above is on the less extreme end of the spectrum of some I have heard.

I find myself conflicted when trying to find the line between patient and struggling human being. I have realized that this internal struggle is good. It reaffirms the fact that I feel a strong obligation to help those who have had far more complicated lives with less resources than I. At work I have to compartmentalize these feelings, but they definitely do not have to disappear.

Logo for The Robin Hood Foundation.
Image located at http://2014.c4q.nyc/#/logoslide.

I have channeled my frustrations into positive actions. I have started volunteering at a homeless shelter where many of the GABI participles find refuge. In addition I have joined a teen council to fight poverty in America through the Robin Hood Foundation (@RobinHoodNYC). None of these would be possible if was still living in Amenia.

Before I started my internship at the CAR, my goal in life was to rise to the top of whatever field I decided to pursue, trusting that it could be lucrative. Now, my goal is to strive to help as many people as I can. I will still yearn to make a name for myself, but I hope to be known for fully focusing on being altruistic and not on how many zeros are at the end of my paycheck.